A Few Good Ways to Get Dinner Guests to Leave Your Home

Some people don't know when the party's over.
  1. Start all your sentences with "Before you leave..."
  2. Put on your pajamas
  3. Turn on C-Span. And turn up the volume.
  4. Fart.
  5. Tell them someone died. Don't be specific.
  6. Start cracking some eggs into a bowl and ask them if they want eggs or French toast
  7. Start writing in your journal very intently, but look up every once in a while.
  8. Ask them how the economy is doing.