1. I hate sharing
    If you ask for my food I'll give you the shittiest bite I can muster
  2. There's no chance you kill the sweaty pit game harder than me
  3. I think kids are odious enough to star on "river monsters"
  4. Occasionally I find myself so hilarious that I momentarily black out
  5. I called a radio station astrologer last week cause she is everything 2 me
    I'm a Sag just so u know
  6. I tutor a 7th grader and remember 0% of 7th grade math
  7. I think alc drinking Instagram pics make ppl look like pigs slurpin at a trough
    Slurp slurp
  8. My 5th grade legacy involved winning a DARE essay contest and I still hate drugs whoops
  9. Sometimes people shart
    Not me tho
  10. I think I'm a lil better than you cause I do lotsa yoga