FAVORS I DID MYSELF TODAY

  1. Sitting 2 feet behind Colin Farrell in hot yoga
  2. Ordering Pinot Grigio at a bar instead of garbage liquor
  3. Developing the tag line: "I know your smell"
  4. Going into someone's yard to pet a cat at 1:30am w no fucks in sight
  5. Slamming a candle against my wall to rustle the snoring neighbor (Snorlax)
  6. Drinking 96 fucking ounces of water