1. Bertha: Husky maid with a harrowing amount of tenure at the La Mirada Inn
    She is v proud of her seniority
  2. Lourdes: Rage monster fisher(wo)man who inexplicably maims fish w a pickaxe
    She dreams of poisoning a hipster one day
  3. Miriam: Panic stricken submarine operator who "knows your smell"
  4. Doris: Overzealous, southern Wal Mart employee who ❤️'s folding Miley Cyrus shirts
  5. Helen: Bobby pin adorned PETA activist with mysterious lazy eye twitch
    Droopy eyes r cute