Chronological thoughts I have when people compare me to Mindy Kaling

  1. Omg. She's amazing and funny and beautiful. That's the highest compliment you could give me!
  2. Wait. Is it just because I'm brown? Do we even look alike?
  3. I mean...yes...we both have child bearing hips and a great ass...but still.
  4. Wait. Is this some South Asian fetish that you have? Let me look at your PornHub history.
  5. Mindy really has the best life...mainly because she's been able to make out with all of my celeb crushes so I accept.
    @IkeBarinholtz, @Ders808, @bjnovak, Chris Messina, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Mark Duplass, Glenn Howerton, Seth Meyers, Josh Meyers, Tim Daly (who doesn't love Wings?), and of course, Ross Marquand.
  6. But seriously...is it because I'm brown AND funny or just because she's the only woman on television that looks remotely like me?
  7. Who cares. She's amazing.
  8. But if she and Aziz get together, I'll lose it.