CLOSING DAY

Today is the final day of the 15-16 academic year. All the students living in the residence hall I supervise must move out by 6pm. Here is a play by play of the day.
  1. 7 am: I have created the optimal comforter burrito. I shall not leave this bed. Today will be hard so I should sleep through it.
  2. 7:20: COFFEE
  3. 7:30: my supervisor had her baby last night! What an exciting time! 🎉
  4. 7:45: the Internet is down across the entire campus.
  5. 8:10: office is open! Let's do this!
  6. 8:15: First crisis!
    My dad won't be here until noon but I'm signed up to check out at 11:30! What do I do!!??!! UPDATE: She found someone to switch with her. All is well.
  7. 8:30: "I'm sorry the Internet is not working so I can't help you right now. Come back down around 9:30 and hopefully it will be working by then."
  8. 8:50: "I said 9:30! Go away and stop hovering outside my office please!"
  9. 9:30: "Internet is still broken - go away, kid."
  10. 9:32: Parent: "WE PAY A LOT FOR HER TO LIVE HERE SO WE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER WE WANT!" Me: 😐
    Basically this is a parent's only argument, always.
  11. 10:00: Student: "So I'm scheduled to checkout at 4:30 but I want to leave now." (You're going to need to wait) "You guys are just standing around, you really can't help me?"
    FYI- being a jerk to people you need help from does NOT make people want to help you. Kill 'um with kindness, friends!
  12. 10:30: Student: "Yea that's all my alcohol." Me: "k great, have a good summer, dummy!"
  13. 11: Student: "Yea that's my alcohol but I wanna be a whiny baby and cry about it and say multiple times this isn't fair." Me: "Nope, not dealing with that right now. Have a good summer, go away!"
  14. 11:30: LUNCH FINALY
  15. 1:15pm: Student: "are you getting sad that we're all leaving?!" Me: "For some of you more than others, yes."
  16. 2:30pm: Student: "Do you have any boxes so I can pack? What do I do if I never signed up to check out with anyone?"
    Did you forget you gotta move out when you're done with finals?
  17. Sporadically up to this point students will say, "Thanks for being such a great RA this year!! I'm gonna miss you so much! Next year won't be the same without you!" and our cold, dead hearts all melt 😍
  18. 3:10: only a couple people left to go on each floor!!!!!
  19. 4: 2 HOURS TO GO! WE NEED CAFFEINE!
  20. 4:30: Grumpy guy from earlier this morning is finally getting checked out. I told the RA to take her sweet time since he thinks it only takes 5 minutes. Let's see how this plays out.
  21. 4:55: He stormed out. Good riddance.
  22. 4:57: RA: "yea, that resident who still hasn't checked out is just playing video games in his room..." Me: "TELL HIM TO GO HOME."
  23. 5: RAs are sent off to remove items from the rooms where residents bailed.
  24. 5:18: RAs return with disgusted faces and bags of trash. Residents are charged obscene amounts of money.
  25. Next 40 minutes is spent sitting/leaning/laying around the office waiting for dinner to be ready and the building to officially close.
  26. 6: We're closed! We celebrate by eating subs and pizza in silence due to exhaustion and hanger.
  27. 6:45-9:30 is spent double checking half the rooms in the building for damages, cleaning, additional charges, etc. All in all, they did a great job!
  28. 9:30: Collapse on couch. Read heartfelt letter from one RA that was left in my mailbox. Cry. They make it worth all the hassle these crazy students cause me.
  29. Fin.