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Let me tell you about The Shirley Story.
- •We read a story in Glamour during our freshman year of college.We decided to re-read it every December because our friend group had just formed and we were desperate for traditions.
- •The story is about a woman who was kidnapped as a child.Her life was full of drama and tragedy. It's honestly a very upsetting tale.
- •The tradition is that I read the story aloud.
We appreciate any and all gifts, but these are the best. Bonus points if you include your family's holiday card!
- 1.CashWe'll also accept checks! Some parents are embarrassed to just give money, but it's what the teachers are hoping for. Just think of it as a tip!
- 2.A heartfelt thank you noteI hang all my thank you notes up on my wall. I absolutely love them and can't read them without crying.
- 3.Cafe gift cardsI'm so rich in Starbucks gift cards that I can't even remember the last time I paid for a latte.
Following a recent professional setback, I've been a bit hard on myself. When things like this happened in high school, my therapist would remind me of all my successes to prove that I'm not actually a failure. This is what I imagine she'd say to me today.
- •You're the lead teacher of a popular, one-of-a-kind toddler program in Boston.
- •You also make the curriculum for all the classes.
- •And you're a lead teacher in the general childcare room.
I thought my brothers were pretty great until I started watching Arrow. Then I realized they could be so much better.
- •He straight-up murders people for her.I have two older brothers. One of them would never murder someone for me. The other brother is a bit of a wildcard, but I doubt he'd murder for me.
- •He resurrects her.If someone stabbed me and doctors gave me a 0% chance of survival, my brothers would accept that and just be sad. They wouldn't carry me to a special Tibetan hot tub to restore my life.
- •He trains her weird boyfriend to be a vigilante.If I dated someone like Roy, my brothers would just talk about him behind his back. They wouldn't invite him into their vigilante family.
Some of these things may exist and I just lack the tech skills to find them.
- •Folders on TiVoI love folders and I love television. Let's combine those passions! There are 5 people in my household, and we have a lot of recordings. It'd be nice to sort them. For example: group shows, Chelsey's Lifetime movies, Disney movies, sports puck, and impulse recordings.
- •Lefty settings on Apple productsApple claims their products are intuitive, but iOS9 does not mesh with my lefty intuition. If I could switch my Wii to lefty settings, I should be able to switch my iPhone.
Even three-year-olds can be passive aggressive.
- •"What's in your mouth?"It was toilet paper, so I said, "Spit it out into my hand!" She did. It was gross.
- •"I want to read a Mickey Mouse book!"So I asked, "Where is your Mickey Mouse book?" She said, "I don't have one." We read Angelina Ballerina instead because a mouse is a mouse.
- •"I'm sorry I threw my toys, Chelsey."She hugged me, and I said "I'm sorry I got mad at you." She said, "I was mad too." Why? "Because you were mad."
Please don't let me use a paper clip as a wallet or put ice cubes in red wine.
- •Intense Mike & Ike cravingsI'm one Mike & Ike box away from diabetes.
- •Afternoon napsWe both have jobs, yet we find a way to be home for a 2pm nap at least once a week.
- •Having a side of cheese with a sandwichThere's cheese on the sandwich, too.
There's a reason people don't invite me places.
- •Used the 1-person family restroomChuckles and I took turns. While waiting for them, I noticed the women's restroom was literally right next to it. People saw us make this mistake.
- •"Miriam, look! A cat!"It was a dog. A husky, to be exact, which happens to be the team's mascot.
- •I'm avoiding moving/talking for the rest of this game.