OBSERVATIONS DURING MY THIRD GLASS OF WINE
- •I don't taste as well.No glasses of wine translation: I apparently thought my tastebuds were not as strong considering I was eating a flatbread pizza that was basically a tomato covered with melted cheese. I strongly dislike uncooked tomatoes, but I could not taste this tomato one bit.
- •I feel great.No glasses of wine translation: I was watching game 5 of the World Series and Kansas City had just tied the game, so I was feeling pretty good.
- •I'm pretty sure I'm louder than I have ever been in my life.No translation needed.
- •Am I slurring words? Have I had enough to drink to slur words? Do I sound ridiculous? People know I'm intoxicated. My parents are here. Oh dear.No glasses of wine translation: I was very self conscious.
- •Mmmmm water is good.
- •To my parents reading this right now: 🙃No glasses of wine translation: I think this was the emoji I thought most closely related a shrug.