THINGS I DON'T TRUST

  1. Public bathroom locks where you unlock it by pushing down the handle
    How can I test if it's securely locked if when I jiggle the handle it just unlocks?!
  2. "Dry clean preferred" tags
    Don't lie. This means I can hand wash. Which everyone knows is actually gentle cycle. Dry clean preferred. Psshhh.
  3. "Do not dry clean" tags
    Do not dry clean?! Are there people out there who just dry clean everything? Why?! Who are you and what is your life?
  4. Any time a new character shows up on a tv show. Especially if they are attractive and/or have an accent.
    Never the innocent person they claim to be.