REALISTIC DISCOMFORTS TO WISH ON AN EX

For when death is just slightly too much and you still believe they are a good person somewhere deep down
  1. Extended nausea without vomiting
  2. Allergies
  3. Constipation
  4. Diarrhea
  5. Bloating
  6. Cramps
  7. Acne (really bad for like, a few months.)
  8. Sitting in non-reclining seats on a really long flight
    And there are multiple BABIES on the plane!
  9. Getting fat
  10. Finding out the dryer is broken when their clothes are in the washer
  11. A bad haircut