LIKING THESE THINGS IS NOT INTERESTING

It is a waste of time to mention that you like these things. So do millions of other people. It says nothing about you. Unless I hear otherwise, I'll assume you like these things.
  1. 1.
    Netflix
    If liking Netflix is an important thing on your list of interests, I encourage you to take some time off to re-evaluate what you think your brand is.
  2. 2.
    Sriracha
    Oh, you love it on everything? How FASCINATING! Tell me more, pleeeaaase!
  3. 3.
    Chipotle
    Nothing is interesting about Chipotle. Yes, I know that guac is extra. There is not a single observation about Chipotle that I care about.
  4. 4.
    Star Wars
    You like one of the most popular movies of all time. Please keep acting like you have been oppressed for this opinion.
  5. 5.
    Coffee
    Coffee is not a personality.
  6. 6.
    Pizza
    Millennials have ruined pizza. I apologize on behalf of my generation.
  7. 7.
    HBO Go
    See: Netflix. And please don't mention anything about sharing a password. Your performative false poverty is 😴😴😴.
  8. 8.
    New York City
    It would be weird if you didn't like New York. This isn't "your thing."
  9. 9.
    Christmas music
    Hating Christmas music isn't interesting either. Bad area on both sides.
  10. 10.
    Marvel movies
    You are not a nerd. Superheroes are for the masses. Jocks like superheroes. Mean girls like superheroes. You know what I like? Ingrid Bergman in "Autumn Sonata."
  11. 11.
    Popular music from your childhood
    Hits from the 90s? That's what you're going to center your personality around? Do you want an award for having an okay memory? Personally I can't relate because I was born in 2007.
  12. 12.
    Nickelodeon shows from your childhood
    Acknowledging that you liked these shows and that other people did too will not slow down your inevitable march to the grave.
  13. 13.
    The beach
    Nope. Boring. Now if you liked the movie The Beach, THAT would be interesting.
  14. 14.
    Disney movies
    I do not want to hear it. Not even your observations about how the Disney princesses are "kind of fucked up." We mined this area until it became a barren wasteland. Yes, even Frozen.
  15. 15.
    The TV show "Friends"
    We all liked it back then, fine. Still being obsessed with Friends in the year 2015 is one of my biggest red flags.
  16. 16.
    Brunch
    Why would liking brunch be in your Twitter bio? WHY? Have you ever done anything in your entire life?
  17. 17.
    Adele
    If Adele knew how basic you were, she'd get so sad she'd write another great album.
  18. 18.
    Jane Austen
    Every girl thinks she's the only one who truly loves Jane Austen. Every girl is wrong.
  19. 19.
    "Dressing up"
    "I sort of love dressing up for an event" said someone under the mistaken impression that she was unique.
  20. 20.
    Being outside
    I hate being outside. We invented a better place - it's called "inside." See? My take is worth talking about.