Best Foods to Burn Your Mouth On If You Just Need to Feel Something to Know You Are Alive

Going through a life-crisis? We've got you covered!
  1. Frozen Pizza
    Nothing pairs better with "not leaving the house for 48hrs" than piping hot 'za! Better eat quick so you can start drinking by 9pm and commence your 4 hour "Frasier" marathon!
  2. Instant Oatmeal
    Hungover after drinking too much by yourself and watching 4 hours of "Frasier" the night before? Oatmeal has the unique ability to stay scalding hot for up to 1 hour! Groovy, daddio!
  3. Canned Soup
    Add shredded cheese if you sold out this week!
  4. Coffee
    Your budget doesn't allow today to be an "eating day", but that doesn't mean the fun has to stop! Brew a pot and drink through a straw!
  5. Crockpot Meatballs
    Feeling like less of a man, somehow, during the Holidays? Forgo the toothpick and grab a fork!
  6. Frozen Veggie Corndogs
    Vegetarian?? You deserve it, you health nut! Dig in while the wooden stick is still too hot to hold!
  7. Microwaved Crab Mac 'n Cheese
    Heat for an extra 30 seconds to make it super hot! You did spend real, hard earned money on prepackaged mac and cheese with crab meat in it, after all!