I CAN ONLY CUM...🏀
Porn has ruined me, you guys.
- •While listening to the Borat soundboard on eBaum's world
- •If my partner whispers the one weird trick to grow my penis that doctors don't want me to know about!
- •If a 'toon is being lowered into The Dip from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"
- •While Kenny G's "Auld Lang Syne (Millennium Mix)" is playing
- •If Lisa Frank gives the 'thumbs up' from her throne on a neon rainbow
- •If my partner's grandfather was a deep sea diver who died by being sucked head-to-toe into his helmet
- •If I have recently been the sole survivor of a train crash that killed thirty other people
- •While role-playing: I'm Dobby the house elf and I'll do anything for your sock 😏
- •If "Mary Jane's Last Dance" is truly about trying to 'quit' marijuana.