It will be tasteless.
  1. To start, the funeral pamphlet will be written in the Margaritaville Brand font.
  2. The Church will be decorated like a number of rooms from any Nancy Meyers film.
  3. Before you enter, you'll be forced to be slam dunked on by my lifeless carcass, utilizing strings and an elaborate pulley system.
    This will be the first photo opportunity.
  4. For the opening number, my dead body will be manipulated by 50 top puppeteers to recreate the "Like a Virgin" dance from "Magic Mike".
  5. This will be followed by everyone naming and explaining their favorite tweet, joke, or list of mine.
    Each person must end their compliment by pantsing me in front of my remaining family.
  6. Then the congregation will recite every good Meryl Streep quote from "The Devil Wears Prada". If you miss a word you have to go into a dark room where my hologram explains why "Stadium Arcadium" is my favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers album.
    *based off the hologram room in "Ripley's Believe it or Not" museums.
  7. FINALLY, the main event: @stevecady has to drag my meat-husk to the warring ship in the "Storm Room" of the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride.
    When he gets there, he must set the ship on fire for my proper Viking Funeral.
  8. My brother swims back from the ship, and everyone watches until the flames die as a Priest absolves me of all my sins.