1. "The only way you're gonna get to touch THESE boobs is if they graze the top of your head as I'm slam dunking your skinny ass!"
  2. "Ilana Wexler? Somebody groomed their dreadlocks in the bathroom. You can get started by cleaning those hair stumps."
  3. "Hi, I'm Abbi. I love pugs. My family comes from a long line of Colonial Jews."
  4. "In the words of Phish: Deduct the carrots from your pay, you worthless swampy fool."
  5. "You signed a billion year contract specifically prohibiting the sharing of shifts."
  6. "You belong on Garbage Island." "No one belongs on Garbage Island!"
  7. Also, anything Abbi said while imitating Ilana and vice versa.
  8. Ilana getting Abbi to make that face that she hates.
    Suggested by @franksars
  9. "Don't try and butter me up, I'm a vegan."
    Suggested by @roballen
  10. Giphy