1. He accidentally microwaved a hot pocket for 30 minutes instead of 3 minutes and burned himself
  2. He was shaving with a straight edge razor and he sneezed
  3. He was trying to get a popcorn kernel out of his teeth with kitchen scissors while driving and got rear ended
  4. Someone curb stomped his face onto a porcupine
  5. He got a razor blade Apple while trick or treating
  6. He was roasting marshmallows on a camping trip and ate a s'more that was on fire
  7. He ate brownie batter off a switch blade