99 PROBLEMS

  1. 1.
    Scratched glasses
  2. 2.
    Indigestion
  3. 3.
    It's too hot in here
  4. 4.
    Weird cheese taste lingering in mouth
  5. 5.
    Global warming
  6. 6.
    Out of pretzels
  7. 7.
    Shoulders are sore
  8. 8.
    Loneliness
  9. 9.
    Quinoa
  10. 10.
    Cool lesbian neighbor doesn't wanna be besties
  11. 11.
    Lumpy mattress
  12. 12.
    Dry skin
  13. 13.
    Aaron Sorkin
  14. 14.
    Avocado shortage
  15. 15.
    Human trafficking
  16. 16.
    Traffic
  17. 17.
    Sexism
  18. 18.
    Racism
  19. 19.
    Things that are gluten free
  20. 20.
    Movies longer than 2 hours
  21. 21.
    1% battery
  22. 22.
    The 1%
  23. 23.
    Doing bits on new social media apps that we are still figuring out how to use
  24. 24.
    The war on Christmas
  25. 25.
    War
  26. 26.
    Wool
  27. 27.
    Pollution
  28. 28.
    Bits that don't end
  29. 29.
    Licorice
  30. 30.
    Riesling
  31. 31.
    Learning how taxes work
  32. 32.
    Forgetting social security numver
  33. 33.
    Writing social security number on public list
  34. 34.
    Identity theft
  35. 35.
    Having all the money in your bank account stolen
  36. 36.
    Hunger
  37. 37.
    Eviction
  38. 38.
    Homelessness
  39. 39.
    Lice
  40. 40.
    Mice
  41. 41.
    Rice cakes
  42. 42.
    Garbage smell
  43. 43.
    Stabbing
  44. 44.
    Infection
  45. 45.
    Hospital
  46. 46.
    Not having insurance
  47. 47.
    Weird puss
  48. 48.
    Body aches
  49. 49.
    Being tired
  50. 50.
    Prostitution
  51. 51.
    Not being paid for performing sex acts under the assumption you'd get paid
  52. 52.
    Trying to think of 47 more problems
  53. 53.
    Wondering if anyone is still reading
  54. 54.
    Not being "on brand"
  55. 55.
    Wondering if long lists are "off brand"
  56. 56.
    Wondering how to get back "on brand"
  57. 57.
    Being in so deep that it would be dumb to quit now...
  58. 58.
    ...so you have to keep going because there is no other option
  59. 59.
    Even if it requires going against every fiber of you being
  60. 60.
    Must keep going
  61. 61.
    Asking forgiveness of everyone who has read this far
  62. 62.
    Making sure your excessively uneccesay list is worth reading all the way to the end
  63. 63.
    Tired thumbs
  64. 64.
    Murder
  65. 65.
    Pedophilia
  66. 66.
    Famine
  67. 67.
    Wait, I put "Hunger" already... So does "Famine" count?
  68. 68.
    I think so, they are different thins
  69. 69.
    Funions
  70. 70.
    Bunions
  71. 71.
    The patriarchy
  72. 72.
    Turnips
  73. 73.
    Pimples
  74. 74.
    Getting close to the end but still not sure you can make it
  75. 75.
    Crying
  76. 76.
    Dying
  77. 77.
    Flying
  78. 78.
    Spelling errovs
  79. 79.
    Witches
  80. 80.
    Misogyny
  81. 81.
    Misandry
  82. 82.
    No wifi
  83. 83.
    Power clashing
  84. 84.
    Man buns
  85. 85.
    Truck nuts
  86. 86.
    Stubbed toe
  87. 87.
    White chocolate
  88. 88.
    Wasting time
  89. 89.
    Time (magazine)
  90. 90.
    Poison
  91. 91.
    Triggering
  92. 92.
    Subtweeting
  93. 93.
    Subinstagramming
  94. 94.
    Sublisting
  95. 95.
    Oh I can put pictures in?!?
  96. 96.
    Now I kinda wanna start over to add more pics
  97. 97.
    Oh well
  98. 98.
    Not knowing all the German lyrics to 99 Luftballons
  99. 99.
    Terrorism