From Mr. Jon Bois at
  1. The car parked eight feet in front of the goal that you have to play around because your roommate's friend refuses to move it
  2. The roll-out goal that nobody ever bothers to weigh down
  3. The court with lights that turn off 20 minutes after sundown
  4. The heavy rubber outdoor basketball that jams everyone's fingers
  5. The miniature basketball that Pizza Hut used to sell for three dollars
  6. The guy who doesn't seem that much older than you, but talks way older than you
  7. The guy who tries to play in slip-ons
  8. The low-percentage shot enthusiast
  9. The 11-year-old kid who insists on playing
  10. The guy who persistently sets needless picks
  11. The guy who can't dunk and will never stop trying
  12. The guy who won't get off the phone
  13. The guy who doesn't understand tip ins
  14. The guy who tries to draw up plays