My rejected short story ideas

ideas that came to mind and I rejected out of hand
  1. Forbidden love between a hippo and her zoo keeper
    The first kiss was accidental, the second was transcendent
  2. Vampires vs the front bumper of my 89 Crown Vic
    Basically just me hitting fucking vampires and then hosing off their blood
  3. Hunger Games but me looking for my socks
    But seriously where the fuck are my socks
  4. Engineering mixup
    An engineering mixup at a ship yard sees the forward hull of a cruise ship replaced by a giant multi ton block of carved cheese. The story of an exceptionally dense and aggressively stupid Captain and his insistence on completing the ships maiden voyage
  5. Antisocial Ghost
    Like ghost, but the dead dude just hates everyone and wants to be alone.