ON-THEME WAYS I PLAN TO SPEND VALENTINES DAY WHICH I'D BE DOING ANYWAY

  1. Menstruating
  2. Letting my heart pump about a gallon of blood through my body
  3. Massacring some Chicago style pizza
  4. Not going so far as to be a martyr, so perhaps just adopting a martyr complex.
  5. Hunting single people with arrows.
  6. Officiating secret weddings
  7. Having reservations