REASONS WHY I AM A LITTLE OLD LADY

  1. I love love love murder mystery shows
    Preferably ones that don't use that newfangled technology like "DNA." (For real tho, I'm working on a list)
  2. I love soup for dinner
    I'd rather scoop up my food like a lady than stab it with a fork like a hooligan.
  3. I don't like kids on my lawn or people at the door
    Are you trying to catch a glimpse of me in my nightie, you pervert?
  4. I can't remember a damn thing.
    Don't get mad if I can't remember your name, I meet a lot of people for the fifth time. Now help me look for my car. I think my keys are in it.
  5. I doze off while watching movies but am also a light sleeper.
    I have gotten mad at my boyfriend for waking me up by turning off the TV and lights.
  6. I'm always cold.
    Ooh, a movie date night. Let me grab my parka, hat, gloves and scarf for the theater. Should I sneak in some kindling and firewood, or do they sell it there?
  7. I google young-people slang.
    Sure, I once googled 'turnt.' It's hard to keep up when you spend so much time searching for candy at the bottom of your giant purse. (that one's too real)