THE STRUGGLES OF BEING A CONTACT LENS WEARER
Thoughts on being a daytime contact lens wearer and nighttime glasses wearer
- •That dark spot on the tile in the showerIt could be fuzz. But it's probably a deadly spider. Better stand still and see if it moves. I'm sure everyone will understand if I'm late.
- •Crashing somewhere for the nightAnd walk-of-shaming it home in the morning, wiping the pus from your eyes
- •The panic in the morning when you wake up and your glasses aren't where they should beI NEED MY GLASSES TO FIND MY GLASSES
- •Ceiling fans. Standing fans. Car air conditioning. The wind.I'm just gonna close my eyes now because my contacts are turning into tiny hard frisbees on my retinas. I'm fine. Really.
- •On a glasses day, walking into a crowded hot room from the cold outdoorsHa! Ha! Isn't it just a hoot when your glasses steam up and your vision is obstructed? I love that we get to share this moment
- •Everyone knows it's bullshit that your contact lens prescription expires every year but no one can do anything about it.Here's $300, thanks for my 20/20 vision and my Stockholm syndrome
- •Making out with glasses on. Snuggling with glasses on. Spooning with glasses on. Painful smooshing is inevitable.Oh. Oh. You're taking them off, that's cool… where are you putting them? I swear to God, if you crush them…