THINGS THAT ARE FREAKING ME OUT

  1. The squirrel who hangs out on the trash can lid by the driveway who is not at all afraid of me.
    I AM BIGGER THAN YOU! Please stop calling my bluff. I just need to get past you to my car. Stop staring at me.
  2. The fridge's ice maker.
    It sounds like someone is trying to break in. Why is it only loud at night?!
  3. The acorns falling on the roof.
    It's like a war zone out there and also sounds like someone is trying to break in.
  4. The doorbell that goes off by itself.
    The ghost of some asshole ring-and-run kid haunts us. Also, it sounds like someone is trying to break in.