WHAT I WILL MISS ABOUT BEING UNEMPLOYED

What do I do? What DON'T I do!
  1. No-pants Monday, No-pants Tuesday, No-pants Wednesday, No-pants Thursday, No-pants Friday, it's-Saturday? Saturday.
    Sorry, roommate.
  2. Getting totally fucked up on coffee.
    I can feel my pulse in my eyelids, guys.
  3. Being a "daytime" person.
    Having coffee, lunch or day-drinking with my self-employed/artist/writer friends. Portland is not the only place young people go to retire. The weather is better and it's cheaper in Durham.
  4. Listapping all the live-long day.
    Refresh, repeat!
  5. Getting all the sweet stuff from the thrift shops.
    They restock on Mondays… and I will fight for my place in line, Dottie. Don't think I won't.
  6. Falling asleep watching Netflix
    And waking up 8 hours later, rewinding to where I fell asleep and moving right along. Yes, I AM still watching, NETflix 😒
  7. Day hikes
    It was a great time of year to be unemployed.
  8. Optional showering.
    Americans shower too much or something, right? That's why.