WHAT IS IT ABOUT FALL THAT MAKES ME WANT TO

  1. Smoke cigarettes
    Is it because it's like a tiny campfire in front of my face?
  2. Read novels
    Suddenly I'm whimsical? I guess I could pick up the one from last Fall
  3. Listen to the music I loved 10 years ago
    Jesus I'm nostalgic too? Please hog tie me to my shower curtain rod if I start writing poetry. Thank God the internet forgot the blog platform I used then.
  4. Eat oatmeal
    I just want a bucket of oatmeal, guys. Dump some walnuts, blueberries and maple syrup on it and avert your eyes while I tuck in. You don't want to see that.
  5. Drink wine in my fleecey stripey footie pajamas.
    This is not a Bridget Jones situation. My boyfriend thinks I'm trying to tell him to keep a distance. It only means I want to feel fleece on my buns.
  6. Read, watch, and listen to scary stories and movies
    Halloween, yes BUT IT'S SO PERFECT. I think Halloween was invented because people were doing this now anyway.
  7. Buy clothes that are too big for me
    Sure, "slouchy," "oversized," whatever, just hand me that bed sheet with arm holes cut out.
  8. Craft
    Step one: see it on Pinterest. Step two: buy supplies at AC Moore, because OMG that coupon, right?!?! Step three: abandon one project because you need a table saw and go for a more glue-oriented one. Step four: glue your palm to your chin and your boob to the kitchen table. Step five: buy it on Etsy.