COMPLIMENTS CLIENTS HAVE GIVEN ME

The joys of my workplace
  1. "You're at least 37, right?"
    No, no. I'm 26.
  2. "You look mean"
  3. "You're kind of board shaped"
  4. "I think about having sex with you, and I imagine you pregnant."
  5. "You should brush your hair."
  6. "You look like you know how to cook rice"
  7. "I want to kidnap you."