Inspired by @shanaz because this was too ingenious not to recreate. In chronological order...
  1. The Persian
    Looked like Mike from Shah's of Sunset. Very self involved
  2. Forest
    The last guy I ever dated. He looked like the balding Prince William, if he was a hipster with better teeth
  3. The fighter
    Has the same hair cut as Bea from Wentworth. The only ex I've truly loved. We still talk almost daily, and I skype her family. My friends tell me that's unhealthy.
  4. The Hungarian
    She didn't deserve to share the face of the queen, Olivia Benson. Ironically our short but tumultuous relationship ended in police contact.
  5. The accountant
    Looks like Chilean rapper, Ana Tijoux. Recently ended via ghosting, seemingly. I learned that just because you have a grown up job, doesn't make you a mature person.