My quirks that would make me a great character for someone's essay collection
- •I don't eat seafood out of reverence for my childhood goldfish named "joe the mailman"
- •Before I leave the house, I give each of my plants a kiss and tell them "I love you"
- •I have a unique style of dancing which could be described as a gypsy air traffic controller who is completely oblivious that other people are in the room
- •I can often be found lying under my coffee table in the dark arms crossed over my chest listening to coco Rosie
- •My dialogue often consists of literary quotes
- •The strangest of people are attracted to me, and I often engage them in conversation by provocation, which usually results in a saga of them stalking me for the next few years
- •I always keep rollerblades in my trunk because you never know when you'll need them
- •Every year I will convince everyone around me that I have developed a rare illness only to be embarrassed to find out I only have strep throat
- •I am always telling stories about benign acquaintances I think are capable of kidnapping me