IF @SARAHMCCOY WERE YOUR GALENTINE

Inspired by The Toast series IF X WAS YOUR Y. Thanks, @Boogie, for including me in the li.st community, both in this project and in general. And happy Galentine's Day to my new li.st buddy, @sarahmccoy!
  1. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would wake up early in your hotel room in San Diego because where are you? Comic Con. And your costumes are Buffy and Willow, and yes, your moms made them, because being close to your parents is cool. Halfway through the day, you change into Kaylee and River costumes, obviously.
    You would stage little bits for people who have forgotten these wonderful women and then you would see SMG there promoting her new Cruel Intentions augmented reality game and she would just shake her head and hug you both and feed you cake from her new food company.
  2. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would stroll through the world of Comic Con looking at all the people with amusement while secretly cataloguing everything they do as inspiration for the new TV show that you're writing together.
    It's like a sitcom, but not stupid. Like Con Man, but not as good? (Idk I haven't seen it yet!) But your show is coming to NBC in 2021!
  3. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would both drag all your other li.st friends to Comic Con too, dressed as various Whedonverse weirdos. Joss Whedon would walk by and give you an incredulous laugh and then ask if he can take a picture of the whole gang for his Twitter account and would you like to join him for brunch.
    You would say your favorite lines together and he would make you feel like someone sees you and you're not just an invisible imposter. And of course, because Sarah is your Galentine, you would know that is the case for real.
  4. If Sarah were your Galentine, you'd head for the nearest diner and both order waffles and look at each other conspiratorially because you both know that Amy would be proud of you, and somewhere, she is eating diner waffles too.
    You would spend the entire meal reading li.sts about DCOMs out loud, and then meta-li.st your experience with the title "TREAT YO SELF" only to debate the whole caps/no caps situation.
  5. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would leisurely drive back to LA along the coast, listening to the Veronica Mars soundtrack and boy band mix CDs and The Beach Boys. You wouldn't know the words as well as she does, but that's okay because sometimes you just like to sit back in amazement.
    When Smashmouth's All Star comes on though, you both would roll down the windows and belt it out. A truck driver would honk at you and start singing too.
  6. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would stop really quick at CVS to get something normal, but then spend way too long there getting mad at people for getting mad at the self-checkout. When an obnoxious man starts berating an old lady for being slow, you would both roll your eyes and take EVEN LONGER at the machine just to piss him off a little.
    He would start yelling at the machine and you would both think, "I mean, it's mostly the machine's fault, but still. It can't hear you." The old lady smirks at him and winks at both of you for your help in sabotaging the pompous idiot.
  7. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would have tickets to a special showing of Darren Aronofsky's The Fountain, because she's an extremely artsy film buff who could pretentiously critique his 2006 commentary on spirituality and explain to you how eternity is a product of womanhood.
    She would explain the high concept world to you, and you might wonder if she's even seen it before today, but it won't matter because she seems to really know what she's talking about, so who cares? You'd let her make up movie plots all day long.
  8. If Sarah were your Galentine, you wouldn't actually go see The Fountain, because it would happen that the Hyperion Theater in the Hollywood Backlot at Disneyland: California Adventures is doing a double feature of Get a Clue and Cadet Kelly and obviously you both go because money is no object on Galentine's Day.
    Yeah, they show movies here now. You would get VIP passes because everyone in the park knows you, and you would get free Mickey-shaped snacks and popcorn and you would stay for the bonus feature advance screening of the Descendants 2.
  9. If Sarah were your Galentine, you'd buy her a strawberry ice cream cone and she'd buy you a Minute Maid frozen lemonade on the way out of the park without asking because you would both just instinctively feel that it's the right move to do. As you stroll through the World of Disney store, Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" would play in the background.
    Blue jean babies, LA ladies.
  10. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would both make a beeline for the pin trading section of the World of Disney store and fawn over the new selections. You would get her a set of vintage Lizzie McGuire pins and she would get you a Cinderella slipper pin. She would joke about it being the "perfect fit" and you would feel like the luckiest gal ever.
    Yes, those kinds of pins exist when Sarah is your Galentine. You would take a million photo booth photos like Julie and Annie in The Princess Diaries, heavily featuring your new pins. Somewhere between the sixth and seventh frame you would find yourself thinking, "I am the lost princess!" Because that's how you feel when Sarah is your Galentine.
  11. If Sarah were your Galentine, she would make you watch her favorite episode from each of her favorite shows and you would love them all because she would explain all those little factoids and trivia and history to you. It would be a TV marathon through time, and you would feel wiser and stronger with each episode.
    And at the end of it all, after Buffy defeats the Big Bad, after Mr. Feeny tells you everything will be okay, you feel like you have just been transported through time and space and you are now your evolved self. Sarah would smile knowingly, because she can harness the power of television.
  12. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would end the day by all dancing in a choreographed montage sequence in Downtown Disney, Union Station, the Santa Monica Pier, and the Warner Bros. studio lot, to "I've Had The Time Of My Life" from Dirty Dancing.
    The best part is that you could do it all without having to actually travel to these places because Sarah knows film magic and how to wield it. Like in the Muppets Movie where Rowlf travels by map.
  13. If Sarah were your Galentine, you would live in awe of a cool li.ster and wonder how you got to be so lucky to be part of the same community as all of these awesome people.
    And you'd wait for the day when you'd be her Galentine too! Happy Galentine's Day, Sarah!