1. Using a non-sample-size, non-hotel soap bar on which some silly person actually spent money.
  2. A headset and a radio.
    Stage manager? Try WORLD MANAGER
  3. The ability to walk in high heels and not look like an idiot while doing it.
    Take a note, Taylor Swift.
  4. Controlling the music.
  5. Not getting in trouble for things that you did wrong and/or destroyed, because you look too small to have possibly accomplished anything devious.
    Hello, all of third grade.
  6. When your friends turn to your new acquaintances and say, "I would just do what she says," with a laugh that's half apologetic, half nervous.
  7. Tiny security vehicles.
    Nothing says exorbitant power to me like a Segway or a golf cart.
  8. Collecting all your students' cell phones in a box and carrying the box all day.
    Especially on days when Pokèmon GO is released.