OVERHEARD ON NYC SUBWAYS

Working list of all the ridiculous things I've heard on the subway.
  1. "Emma...oh yeah, Shakespeare wrote that. Right?"
    No....just. No.
  2. "Dude, the guy who plays Dumbledore also plays Gandalf. Crazy, right?"
    It took everything I had not to cut this guy.
  3. "I'M IN LOVE WITH THE KOKO!! *doors open and guy gets off train*"
    This was just fun. He screamed it with such enthusiasm.
  4. "Yeah, we're in Harlem."
    These poor girls were so confused. The train had just stopped at Union Square.
  5. "I only eat artisanal spam I get from Bushwick."
    Get out.