Things That Are Okay... if I Do Them

  1. Honk the horn.
    I can honk at you because you are an incompetent driver. But please, sir, do not honk your horn at me. It is obvious I am in a hurry and am a better driver and all around better person than you. Be respectful.
  2. Be loud at a restaurant.
    Could you please respect the fact that we are trying to enjoy our meal in peace. Rude. But hey, my family is going to be loud and you are going to enjoy it and wish you were a part of it because we are amazing.
  3. Quoting a movie/singing a song.
    I am amazing at quoting movies/singing and I would love the opportunity to watch something with you/sing something to prove that fact. However, please refrain from talking during the movie/singing along. I am watching this/playing this to see the paid actors/hear the professional singers, not to hear you.
  4. Wear strange clothing.
    If I do it, I'm original and have amazing, eclectic style. If you do it, you are trying WAY too hard.
  5. Make a super dry sarcastic comment.
    I'm just really funny. Don't take offense. Take a joke. But wait, what did you just say? That was uncalled for. Do not get sassy with me. Rude.
  6. Complain.
    We all have the right to complain. But it's still annoying as crap whenever someone lives life as a complainer. (Irony?)