Life in New York City narrated by a Connecticut native
  1. A street cleaner gets more people to move out of the way than a cop with sirens on.
  2. Oh hey, there's George of the Jungle again with his pet snake and swarms of tourists. Oh, by the way, I am pretty sure he has head lice. Have fun with that, tourists.
  3. The only place you get hit on at 7 in the morning.
  4. People watching is entertaining.
  5. Why does this person keep staring at me? Just go away.
  6. The only place where you can get food delivered to you 24/7, even at 2:30 in the morning.
  7. $15 for a hotdog? You can shove that in your bun, buddy.
  8. Bagel heaven. Packed with a ton of carbs and happiness.
  9. Dolla dolla pizza, y'all.
  10. Why does this homeless guy have an iPhone? Something doesn't seem right here.
  11. Times Square is the worst place on earth. Unless you like your personal space being invaded every .5 seconds. To the guy standing behind me, did you have tuna for lunch? I officially really don't like you right now.
  12. It smells like piss. Was it a homeless guy or a dog? I gotta get out of here.
  13. Listen, jerk, I'm going to get out of my car and throw napkins at you if you don't stop honking like a cat addicted to catnip.
  14. To the guy eating on the subway, I hope you realize that your sandwich is now riddled with germs and bacteria. Enjoy your sandwich, bro.