1. He uses the name S. Epatha Merkerson as an expletive
    Yes, the woman from the original Law & Order and those Coricidin HBP commercials. In recent years he has shortened it to just "S. Epatha," but it still packs the same punch.
  2. Today I watched as he sliced half a loaf of bread, buttered each piece, and never offered any to anyone else. Even after we pointed out that 7 slices of bread seemed like a lot for one person.
  3. Even when I loudly announce myself upon entering a room, he somehow NEVER hears me and ALWAYS jumps 3 feet into the air, fists raised, when he finally sees me.