Though I am Classy AF I am also Clumsy AF.
  1. Heels + Church Risers + Christmas Poinsettias
    I was giving announcements in church circa age 13 and wearing chunky heeled loafers. (It was the 90s!) We had risers on the stage for our Christmas musical and poinsettias lining each riser step. Instead of stepping OVER them on to the riser below I stepped INTO one and toppled over with the plant and all. I quasi crawled my soiled self offstage.
  2. Heels + Easter Pictures + Aisle Beam
    Wearing my very first pair of "Easter shoes" with about a 1.5 inch heel I was dancing and running down the aisles of Sears while we waited to get our family pictures taken. I wasn't paying attention and ran smack into an aisle beam and sort of did a wobbly split down to the floor in my Easter shoes. My mom was pissed. And I left huge black streaks on the floor from my shoe soles.
  3. Christmas Pageant + Natural Falling Ability
    I was dressed as a sheep in our church's annual Christmas Pageant (live nativity scene re-enactment). Apparently I proceeded down the aisle of the church as a pretty convincing sheep and then all of a sudden I just dropped. I fell and caused a major sheep pile up as others went down with me.
  4. College Public Speaking Course + Heels
    I was about to give a presentation in my public speaking class and was wearing high heeled boots. Right before my turn my boot heel broke and fell off. I had to give the presentation one my tippy toes on one foot only and walk flat footed and tippy toed to account for the heel height difference.
  5. Cupcakes + Birthday
    For my birthday I made cupcakes for friends and was taking them in a box of sorts to a gathering. On my way out of the door I was carrying the cupcakes and just wobbled and fell. It happens a lot...I fall a lot. But it cost me every single one of those cupcakes since they went sprawling all over the carpet. Frosting first.
  6. Moral of these stories: avoid heels, holidays and birthdays.