HOW TO MAKE MONEY FAST ONLINE **THOUSANDS OF SATISFIED CUSTOMERS, REALLY WORKS**

  1. Sell your house
  2. Sell your children*
  3. * only effective if white
  4. Sell your working boyfriend's/roommate's/husband's/wife's clothes. Unlike some of us we all know THEY can buy more.
  5. Jump start your standup comedy career by becoming a highly-sought after YouTube commenter.
  6. Buy a fuck ton of followers. First rule of business: you have to spend money to make money, bb.
  7. Endorse teeth whitening treatments and various detox pills to your millions of fake followers
  8. Put 'lifestyle curator/blogger' in your bio. If you build it, they will come.
  9. Sell your car
  10. Don't be a web journalist
  11. Sell your house