THINGS MOTHER HAS EMAILED TO ME
I have a complicated relationship with mother. Here's some highlights of various emails she has sent me.
- •A link to "pudding shot recipes"
- •An absurd number of wine related cartoons
- •Subject line: "drinking""I know you won't pay attention but read anyways" and then included an article discussing the link between breast cancer and alcohol consumption. This was a fun divergence from the usual emails which suggest I'm a kooky alcoholic who's drinking she actively encourages.
- •A link to The Onion explaining the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, which I'm certain she could not aptly explain
- •Her Christmas wish list, listed in order of preference
- •Subject line: "Bieber""I know it's a gossip story but the pics are great."
- •A recipe for cupcakes
- •A recipe for cheesecake
- •A request for me to make her cupcakes or cheesecake
- •Her birthday wish list, in order of preference
- •"I would LOVE a steak"No context whatsoever.
- •More pictures of wine and wine related products
- •"Can I have Erin's (@crossetter) email address????????"This fun request came after a few too many of her emails to me went unanswered.
- •Subject line: "grilled cheese"Blank email.
- •Subject line: "South Africa""Make sure Erin watches this BEFORE she decides to go to South Africa." No information about what Erin (@crossetter) should watch. And she went to Rwanda.
- •Subject line: "jimmy kimmel funnies"I highly doubt that.
- •Subject line: "roasted radishes"I will not.