THINGS MOTHER HAS EMAILED TO ME

I have a complicated relationship with mother. Here's some highlights of various emails she has sent me.
  1. A link to "pudding shot recipes"
  2. An absurd number of wine related cartoons
  3. Subject line: "drinking"
    "I know you won't pay attention but read anyways" and then included an article discussing the link between breast cancer and alcohol consumption. This was a fun divergence from the usual emails which suggest I'm a kooky alcoholic who's drinking she actively encourages.
  4. A link to The Onion explaining the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, which I'm certain she could not aptly explain
  5. Her Christmas wish list, listed in order of preference
  6. Subject line: "Bieber"
    "I know it's a gossip story but the pics are great."
  7. A recipe for cupcakes
  8. A recipe for cheesecake
  9. A request for me to make her cupcakes or cheesecake
  10. Her birthday wish list, in order of preference
  11. "I would LOVE a steak"
    No context whatsoever.
  12. More pictures of wine and wine related products
  13. "Can I have Erin's (@crossetter) email address????????"
    This fun request came after a few too many of her emails to me went unanswered.
  14. Subject line: "grilled cheese"
    Blank email.
  15. "You??????"
  16. Subject line: "South Africa"
    "Make sure Erin watches this BEFORE she decides to go to South Africa." No information about what Erin (@crossetter) should watch. And she went to Rwanda.
  17. Subject line: "jimmy kimmel funnies"
    I highly doubt that.
  18. Subject line: "roasted radishes"
    I will not.