THINGS MY STUDENTS HAVE SAID TO ME

I've taught elementary, mostly middle, and high school age students--and boy, do they say some things!
  1. "So you'll go back on your diet tomorrow?"
  2. "The first time I saw you, I thought you were a slut."
  3. "Gotta get me one of those snails."
    Said while petting a turtle.
  4. "You MUST be pregnant."
    To be fair this was after I ate a large bowl of pasta for lunch.
  5. "You know they make mascara that doesn't leave clumps."
  6. "You're my favorite."
  7. "You're my least favorite."
  8. "I'll pull on your clitoris if I have to."
  9. "So what would it be called if a pig ate bacon?"
    Asking the tough questions.
  10. "Let me squeeze them titties."
    When confronted, claimed he got it from SpongeBob.
  11. "FUCK YOU" immediately followed by "excuse my bad language!!!!"
  12. "You're keeping us as slaves!"
    I most certainly was not.
  13. "I'm about to say something to you I don't mean."
    Proceeded to quote Liam Neeson's telephone speech from Taken.