Dumb shit people said at my place of business today

  1. About lost keys
    "Hey I lost my keys, are they here?" "No one has turned any in today, sorry" "Well what should I do?" (Uhh, keep looking?!) "You could check with the lost and found for the mall" "They have my keys?" (Get out)
  2. About being well traveled
    "HEY! I would like to order a... I don't remember what it's called, I first had one abroad. There it was called a chai..." "A chai latte?" "Yes! Also an apple fritter" "Delish, give me some money" "OMG!!! Is this like a pop tart?! It's my cheat day!!!" (Get out)
  3. About not being responsible
    "Hey I lost my phone." "Oh, I'm sorry. What can I get you?" "Well my app was on it. Can you look it up" "I can't, I'm sorry. Do you have the card the app is linked with?" "Well I guess I'll just pay for my drink" "Oh, ok. What would you like?" "There was fifty dollars on my app. You're telling me I can't use it because I lost my phone?" (That's kinda how it works when you lose shit) "I'm sorry. Do you want to call customer service?" "No, I want a drink" (get out)
  4. About a lost gift card
    *phone rings* "Hey I left my gift card to the Cheesecake Factory. You got it?" "I haven't seen one, I'm sorry" "Well where is it?" "Uhhhmmmm, I have no idea" (click)