TIME TRAVELING TIPS ON NEW YEAR'S EVE
As a veteran time traveler, thought I'd share some advice. Warning: Traveling to the future is addictive :-p
- •Drink alcoholDrink anything you can get your hands on. Beer. Shots. Champagne when the clock strikes 12. Toast to the new year. Toast to the old. Crush the open bar. You're about to time travel, Einstein!
- •Don't Eat FoodLet your 2016 Diet start now. Turn down food at all costs and don't stop drinking booze. It will impair how quickly you time travel and that's what's important.
- •Disable Your PhoneWhilst traveling, you will be able to text and call people with no recollection of it ever happening. You'll regret it as soon as you get to the future, so it's best to disable your phone by making a new passcode or by simply turning it off. Besides, what's cooler? Looking at your phone while going to the future or just waking up and being in the future?
- •Clear Your ScheduleAfter time traveling, you will feel like an empty and worthless shell of an irresponsibility (Non travelers call this a hangover). This is normal! Take the day, you earned it! You just traveled through time!
- •Tell Your FriendsMost fellow time travelers will support you in your endeavor. They'll help you drink all the alcohol they can get their grubby hands on and give you a couch to wake up on when you get to the future. BEWARE: Some will try to tell you to be more responsible and stop hurting them by acting this way. Ignore them! What's better? Respecting your lame friend's wishes or hurtling through space and time with no distinct memory?
- •Forgive YourselfMistakes happen and not everybody's journey goes smoothly. Hell, you could get seriously banged up and then spend the first day of 2016 wondering why you time traveled to ring in the year you were going to make the resolution to stop time traveling. It's all gravy baby. Forgive and forget and get ready to time travel next weekend.
- •Don't ForgetTo pat yourself on the back! You just successfully time traveled to a new year! Oh, and please remember to write 2016 as the date now as when you journal the best night of your freaking life.