I went to a party last night and had a funny exchange that I wanted to write down.
- •I've always been aware of this strange idea that society upholds of a romantic relationship being the ultimate goal
- •Specifically as I am getting older the groups of people I am surrounded by are coupling off and either married or getting married
- •I often find myself in the middle of a pleasant exchange being judged or misunderstood when people ask me why I don't have a significant other
- •And this is nothing new, I have been perpetually single most of my lifeAnd the majority of that has been out of my personal preference. I don't often experience romantic attractions, and when I do they are fleeting at best.
- •So last night I was really hitting it off with a girl I had met at the party (platonically)We mostly discussed her past and present boyfriends and work but we were on a chill vibe and sharing cigarettes and what not
- •And she asked me if I had a boyfriend
- •So I explained I really don't do romantic relationshipsThis is pretty much the first time I've just decided to be honest from the start and explain to a stranger what it means to be on the aromantic spectrum
- •And her reaction was what I expectedShe said, "That's so sad, you seem so lovable."
- •So I was like, "Yes, I agree."I am lovable and I do have a lot of love in my heart to give to the people in my life who I consider family (not only through blood) but the type of love I have to give isn't romantic love.
- •And that's okay, because all love is good love, and the love I have to give is valid.
- •So I told her of a quote that I couldn't remember who it was by but it stuck with me right after discovering the term aromantic"I am not searching for my other half, because I am not half."
- •And she smiled and hugged me and told me she understoodAnd I realized that the more articulate and comfortable I become with this aspect of my identity the easier it is to present it to people in a way that is accessible. I don't want people to think that because I'm aromantic I want to have unfulfilling, non progressive sexual relationships. Instead I hope to one day find someone who also doesn't experience romantic attractions, but that I vibe with in a platonic and sexual and intellectual way.