To the men I encounter on a daily basis
  1. I'm sorry I looked you in the eye as I asked to bum a cigarette
    Thanks for letting me know you "aren't like that" and then giving me a smoke
  2. I'm sorry my acrylic nails confuse you
    Your response of "so what's going on with the nails" as I walked away was cute
  3. Thank you for reminding me that real men only drink beer
    I like beer a lot, but I also like wine and whiskey and gin
  4. you prefer a female server??
    I know you won't tip either of us well but I hate to have to give up my table so you can sexually harass my young female coworker
  5. Sorry that you have to follow your compliment about my hair with
    'But I normally only say that to women' while you nervously put your arm around your wife's shoulder in line at the gas station
  6. I'm sorry if for some reason I intimidate you
    Because in general I feel quite intimidated myself