MY LIFE AS DYSTOPIA

Alternate realties based on super minor changes made to otherwise unimportant aspects of my life? Let's go there.
  1. What if my name was Jasmine?
    I would be a different person. And my second cousin probably would've been named Candice. I would've grown up resenting Princess Jasmine of "Aladdin" fame; not only because we share the same name, but also because we are both Middle Eastern. TL;DR I would resent this hypersexualized character more than I already do. Thanks for the lifetime of bad pickup lines, Princess!
  2. What if my parents didn't laugh at literally every joke or sarcastic comment I make?
    I would be a pleb of the comic world. Without my parents generous lolz, I just wouldn't be funny. (All of this is assuming that I'm funny now, which I guess is subjective) (I am)
  3. What if I grew up in the valley and not the westside of LA?
    Ventura would be my Sunset and I wouldn't have to constantly struggle with the flipping of Santa Monica and Wilshire that occurs in Beverly Hills. Clearly I lead a very car-centric life.
  4. What if I was blonde?
    While I could conceivably test this theory out, I think I would look less Persian. And I would probably have more fun 💁