What it's like being a white guy in 2016

  1. You're constantly trying to find the thin line between being obsessively polite to women and people of colour and being condescending.
  2. Everything is catered to you but there's too much stuff.
    You think people will secretly hate you if you've never seen Banshee
  3. You already know everything good.
    Because of the internet.
  4. Everyone else is an idiot.
    Because of the internet.
  5. You have low self-esteem but no one cares.
    Because police don't terrorise you and no one's ever threatened rape you on Twitter. 
  6. Society is moving so fast because of the internet.
    Much faster than the erosion of the prejudiced ideas you brought up with.
  7. You know women and people of colour deserve their turn to make broad generalisations about you (the white guy) but it's not fair because you still want to make broad generalisations.
    It's really hard to be funny without making broad generalisations.
  8. Your white male privilege does not hold as much stock as other white male's privilege
  9. White privilege doesn't come with a nifty card that gets you any discounts in any shops.
    It just means you don't get followed by security in them. 
  10. You'll always be denied use of the race card.
    But the race card is like having big tits. Not that fun carrying around all day, leads to unwanted attention and even if it was given to you for 5mins, you couldn't be trusted to use it responsibly.