OPTIMIZE YOUR FACEBOOK EXPERIENCE

  1. Unfollow everyone. Very important.
  2. Search for improv troupes, "like" them all!
  3. Post; "wow, well that just happened!" Then sell all of your belongings, move to a remote part of Canada, tell no one. One year later, walk to a library, log onto Facebook, and post a picture of a cupcake. Return to hiding for 7 years.
  4. Say; "I can't believe I'm a father/mother!" Post your own baby pictures for a few weeks. Then post about how sad you are. Remove all baby pictures. Never speak of it again.
  5. Accept friend requests from all of your extended family.
  6. Change your birthday to the current day, everyday, for at least 9 years.
  7. Browse naked.