Advice for a Best Man Speech

  1. Don't make fun of the bride or her family.
    You're asking for trouble if you do.
  2. Do "spread the wealth" by poking fun at a variety of people--groom, groomsmen, that goofy cousin, et al.
  3. Memorize the fucking speech.
  4. No props.
  5. At the end, actually toast the couple.
    You'd be surprised how often this is forgotten.
  6. Make it funny above all.
    Save the maudlin, heartfelt stuff for the maid of honor.