The Worst Christmas Songs
It's almost that time! (That time where I get v twitchy about changing radio stations in the car) I love everything about Christmas and I have no 'it's too early' rule about the music. But there are certain songs that are played constantly during the season that I wish could be kidney punched and lit on fire. (Have I left any out?)
- •A Baby Changes EverythingI could have alternately titled this list Country Christmas Ballads-- Just Say No. Also? All babies are not Jesus?
- •Christmas ShoesIf you are going to include a children's choir in your stupid sappy humblebrag about how a poor kid saved you from materialism AT LEAST play the song in a key that is SINGABLE for said unfortunate children's choir. It is pitched way too low and those children sound terrifying.
- •My Grownup Christmas ListThe song version of Cecily Strong's Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started Talking To at a Party: 'Know what I wished for, Seth? An END to GENOCIDE.'
- •Dominic the DonkeyI refuse.
- •All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front TeethLies. And as someone who lisped as a child WITH two front teeth, rude.
- •I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa ClausThe child narrator of this song? Is not at all perturbed? By this apparent infidelity? Ew?
- •Santa BabyUUUUNNNNGGGHHHH. Unless you've heard the gender-switched Buble version where it's 'Santa Buddy' then it's HRRRNNNGGGHHH vomit seriously are you kidding me
- •Last Christmas...is amazing and I will crank it every time.
- •Do They Know It's Christmas?"Thank God it's them instead of you"?!? Possibly the most first world elitist song ever and then to throw Christmas into the mix is just mean. I HATE THIS SONG.Suggested by @jessnobs
- •It's Cold OutsideI just can't with this one.Suggested by @bookishclaire