The Worst Christmas Songs

It's almost that time! (That time where I get v twitchy about changing radio stations in the car) I love everything about Christmas and I have no 'it's too early' rule about the music. But there are certain songs that are played constantly during the season that I wish could be kidney punched and lit on fire. (Have I left any out?)
  1. A Baby Changes Everything
    I could have alternately titled this list Country Christmas Ballads-- Just Say No. Also? All babies are not Jesus?
  2. Christmas Shoes
    If you are going to include a children's choir in your stupid sappy humblebrag about how a poor kid saved you from materialism AT LEAST play the song in a key that is SINGABLE for said unfortunate children's choir. It is pitched way too low and those children sound terrifying.
  3. My Grownup Christmas List
    The song version of Cecily Strong's Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started Talking To at a Party: 'Know what I wished for, Seth? An END to GENOCIDE.'
  4. Dominic the Donkey
    I refuse.
  5. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
    Lies. And as someone who lisped as a child WITH two front teeth, rude.
  6. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
    The child narrator of this song? Is not at all perturbed? By this apparent infidelity? Ew?
  7. Santa Baby
    UUUUNNNNGGGHHHH. Unless you've heard the gender-switched Buble version where it's 'Santa Buddy' then it's HRRRNNNGGGHHH vomit seriously are you kidding me
  8. Last Christmas
    ...is amazing and I will crank it every time.
  9. Do They Know It's Christmas?
    "Thank God it's them instead of you"?!? Possibly the most first world elitist song ever and then to throw Christmas into the mix is just mean. I HATE THIS SONG.
    Suggested by   @jessnobs
  10. It's Cold Outside
    I just can't with this one.
    Suggested by   @bookishclaire