Things My Mom Says

She has a lot of these and as far as I can tell they are of her own invention
  1. 'Industrial strength stupid'
    Used to describe things that are more than typically stupid. Stupid is interchangeable with 'foolish' when she deems necessary.
  2. 'Nominative case, my dear.'
    To be altered according to whichever grammar offense we committed in her hearing
  3. 'You are a wonderful poochie bear and a credit to your generation'
    I am 28 years old and it has just occurred to me that I have no idea what the origin of 'wonderful poochie bear' might be
  4. 'Absence of malice is not an excuse'
    We never got away with 'but I didn't mean to'
  5. 'Straighten up and fly right'
  6. Referring to the police as 'the local constabulary' or 'the local gendarmerie'
    I have never heard her call them 'the local po-po' so that's good