When I Knew
'When you know, you know' is both infuriating and infuriatingly true
- •16Found out my sister had a crush on you too. She didn't know I liked you and I didn't tell her. Suddenly realized that I didn't even know you and only liked you because you were there (which was also my sister's reason) and like magic the crush evaporated. Neither of us had ever actually spoken to you but for a week the next summer I watered your mom's garden while your family went to Barbados.
- •20We said goodnight and the dorm elevator doors closed and I suddenly understood why I'd been so uncomfortable for our entire relationship and that friendship first was no guarantee for a good match. I broke up with you just weeks before you were supposed to come meet my family for Thanksgiving. I paid you back for the plane ticket, in cash, in an envelope, which made the whole thing so much weirder.
- •25You looked at me, then you hugged me goodnight. That was it. I got into my apartment and laid on the floor bc I had no chairs and relived it a billion times and couldn't even sarcastic my way out of it. Almost 3 years later and we are dogsitting this weekend for your parents' sexist golden retriever and you fell asleep at 8.30 tonight for no reason. You and the idiot dog are snoring and the rain is falling outside and I'm still lost in that one dumb look and I hope I never find my way out.