CONVERSATIONS TO HAVE IN CROWDED ELEVATORS

For the next time you need something to do on a short elevator ride. Bring a friend or just a phone.
  1. The weather
  2. That new Adele song
  3. What's been good on TV lately
  4. Why there are so many people on this elevator
  5. Topics covered in your most recent diary entries
  6. Read and discuss notes from your last therapy session
  7. Divorce negotiations
  8. Hostage release negotiations
  9. A nonchalant conversation about your imminent death
  10. A hostile verbal altercation about whether Christmas can be celebrated before Thanksgiving
  11. Explicit medical stories, especially those involving extracted internal organs
  12. A detailed description of a passenger beside you
  13. A very cavalier phone call urging the other end to "just pull the plug"
  14. How to feather, gut, then butcher a chicken
  15. Ranking the best house fires of 2015
  16. Today's traffic